The need to be nurtured: Am I really valuable?

nurtured by Scott Moore,

Confronting a lack of nurturing

Often it is difficult for people who have not been nurtured to nurture others. Our childhood years are extremely formative, and often the issues that arise out of them we end up dealing with for many years, if not the rest of our lives! However, God did not mean for it to be like that. Jesus came to set the captives free - and whom the Son has set free is free indeed!

A lack of nurturing is manifested when, instead of seeking to build up and add value to others, the person seeks to steal value from others in order to add value to themselves. This is also known as the `tall poppy syndrome' - if anyone rises up above the rest of the field, we cut them down in order to bring them back to our level, and then we don't feel so inadequate by their success.

The problem with this mindset is that you cannot gain value from someone else's loss. Funnily enough, you can gain value from someone else's gain! So the best way to confront this lack is to rejoice in the gains of others, and share in the joy! Instead of feeling robbed by another's success, we should join them in their success, and share the benefit! "What a joy it is that you can do that!" "That's fantastic, I'm so proud of you!" "I love it whenever you succeed!" "You're doing a great job, that makes me very proud!" "I have always been proud of the way you do that." "You have always been very good at that." These are the kinds of comments that a nurturer speaks over the life of those they meet and influence.

[Previous] [Next]